Act Three

Opens in pitch darkness.
Soft sea sounds.

After several seconds of nothing, a voice from the dark...

GUILDENSTERN: Are you there?

ROSENCRANTZ: Where?

GUILDENSTERN (bitterly): A flying start....

Pause.

ROSENCRANTZ: Is that you?

GUILDENSTERN: Yes.

ROSENCRANTZ: How do you know?

GUILDENSTERN: (explosion): Oh-for-God's-sake!

ROSENCRANTZ: We're not finished, then?

GUILDENSTERN: Well, we're here, aren't we?

ROSENCRANTZ: Are we? I can't see a thing.

GUILDENSTERN: You can still think, can't you?

ROSENCRANTZ: I think so.

GUILDENSTERN: You can still talk.

ROSENCRANTZ: What should I say?

GUILDENSTERN: Don't bother. You can feel, can't you?

ROSENCRANTZ: Ah! There's life in me yet!

GUILDENSTERN: What are you feeling?

ROSENCRANTZ: A leg. Yes, it feels like my leg.

GUILDENSTERN: How does it feel?

ROSENCRANTZ: Dead.

GUILDENSTERN: Dead?

ROSENCRANTZ (panic): I can't feel a thing!

GUILDENSTERN: Give it a pinch! (Immediately he yelps.)

ROSENCRANTZ: Sorry.

GUILDENSTERN: Well, that's cleared that up.

-- Tom Stoppard Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead